Understanding the bosses behavior and intervening
Gaining perspective
Try to develop perspective. This is easier said then done. Assume that
yelling is inappropriate work place behavior. Even if you are not perfect
at your first job there are other, presumably more effective, ways for your
boss to communicate with you.
Remind yourself that you have a right to make mistakes and to learn from
them without being crucified. If your boss routinely yells at you in
public, it is a fairly safe assumption that the boss has a problem and that the his or her colleagues know it. So, they may have more sympathy for you
than you imagine. This behavior does not reflect well on the boss. Finally, the yelling probably did not start when you
arrived. It may be a long-standing problem.
Exerting control over your own behavior
Your boss may be out of control which means that you should take control. Handle
yourself calmly in the face of siege. When the boss throws a tirade, do not
respond with one. Tell your boss that you think that you both need to take a
minute to cool off and then talk about the situation quietly and in private. Then,
excuse yourself and go into the restroom.
This is not so easy to do in the heat of the moment, so, practice,
practice, practice! Role play with a friend. Envision your worst case scenario with your boss and a calm response to that scenario. Your calm
reply will impress everyone who observes it, even the boss.
Understanding the bosses behavior and intervening
Try to better understand what function this erratic
behavior serves. This step is necessary for changing or managing the
behavior. What precipitates this behavior and what does your boss
get out of it? Why is the boss engaging in this behavior when so many
other behaviors are more appropriate and potentially more effective?
Pay attention to when the boss yells, where the boss yells, what the boss
yells, what the boss is yelling about and who else the boss yells at.
Familiarize yourself with the boss's work-related stresses and strains.
Then, ask yourself, does this behavior have anything to do with me? It may
not be at all personal. For example, if you work in an accounting firm and
you observe that the yelling occurs between April 10th-15th, you may want to
consider asking your boss (in advance) what you can do to help prepare for
April 15th. In fact, your stance might be to provide reassurance that you
will stay and help until all of the work is done.
If you suspect or know that the behavior has something to do with your work,
wait until a calmer moment. Schedule a meeting and ask for feedback and
help. Structure the feedback session so that you will get feedback on both
what you are doing well and what areas warrant further improvement.
Be as nondefensive as possible. And be sure to give
the boss a little feedback too. For example you might say, "I wanted to
give you some feedback. I really like this job. I like the work
that you assign me. And I feel that in many respects, you are an
excellent boss for me." Then, identify your bosses strengths. For example
you might say, "I feel that I am learning about how to market from watching
you firsthand."
Now, shift the area that makes you uncomfortable. Only select one area.
You could say, "However, I am uncomfortable with the way in which you criticize me in
public. I am always willing to accept constructive criticism, but I need to
hear it in private to benefit from it." Politely setting these kinds of
limits does not always work, but it reveals that you are a true
professional.