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| How Do I Find a Good Therapist?
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I am a 30 year old well-educated person who is under-employed. I have
read every career book under the sun. But, I have been unable to actively
define and pursue my professional goals. I know from your previous columns
that my difficulties are probably psychological. I want to resolve them
before it's too late. How do I go about choosing a skilled psychotherapist?
Frightened and frustrated
You ask a good question. One that is not so easy to answer. I will give
you my own bias. But please take it as that, my bias. You didn't ask how
to keep the career issues alive and how to move along on them, while working
on the psychotherapy issues. However, I think that it is important too. So,
I will address it first. I think that there can be a wonderful synergy between
career coaching and psychotherapy. I would urge you to consider seeking
both. In the career arena, if you are living in a major city, I would seek
out a career development support group.
In the psychotherapy arena, it is important to work with a skilled person.
My own personal bias is to seek psychotherapy from a psychoanalyst. How
do you know whether someone is trained or in training? The American Psychoanalytic
Association has a list, of such persons, on line. To be sure, this is my
bias---I am a psychoanalyst who provides psychotherapy and psychoanalysis. In contrast to the behavioral, "here and now" focus
of career counseling, the therapist will focus on helping you deepen your
self-understanding and self-awareness. This can be an intense process and
may take some time, which is why I suggest that you consider doing it in
tandem with career coaching. However, if you work with someone skilled,
you may find it to be quite liberating---with hard work, you may find yourself
identifying and pursuing your dreams.
After identifying the names of analytically trained therapists in your
community, make a list of them. Then, ask around. If you have
friends who are therapists, ask them what they know about these people.
If not, ask your non-therapist friends. On the basis of that feedback, go
meet with one of
them. Unless something egregiously wrong occurs, give yourself a chance to
get to know the person--and give them a chance to get to know you. Tell them
as much as you can about yourself and your difficulties.
One more thing. Therapy can involve a long-term commitment. If you have
one of those insurance plans that only covers 20 sessions a year, and money
is a problem, than look for my January column on how to obtain good treatment
at a low-fee. Good luck. Let me know how things turn out.
Dr. Friedman
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Write Dr. Lynn Friedman