þÿ<!-- * Author: Dr. Lynn Friedman * Copyright. 2006-8 Dr. Lynn Friedman. 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By examining workplace dynamics -- hirings, firings, narcissistic bosses and passive aggressive employees, the office scapegoat and the bosses pet, corporate dysfunction and corporate health, happy employees and miserable ones -- Friedman puts "Corporations on the Couch" in her widely popular column by that name. The psychoanalyst, psychologist, Johns Hopkins faculty member, organizational consultant and executive coach explains, in frank and often funny terms, how corporate cultures and corporate leaders support and sustain (albeit inadvertently) the surprising, strange and truly bizarre array of workplace behaviors. And, like any good therapist, Friedman helps readers to get off the couch, build healthy relationships and end bad ones."> <meta name="keywords" content="Dr. Lynn Friedman, Lynn V. Friedman, corporations on the couch - self-sabotage - self-destructive - organizational dynamics - organizational dynamic - corporate - corporations -coach -career -couch - what is the meaning of psychoanalysis - applied psychoanalysis - The Washington Psychoanalyst -Dr. Lynn Friedman - psychoanalyst - clinical psychologist - psychologist - psychoanalytic - psychoanalysis - psychoanalyst - washington - d.c. - dc - maryland - bethesda - chevy chase - silver spring - rockville - northern virginia - arlington - virginia - fairfax - baltimore - johns hopkins - psychotherapy - work-life - johns hopkins - lynne - lynn - friedman -freedman -friedman - washington psychoanalyst - apsa - american psychoanalytic-friendship heights- washington post,"> <meta http-equiv="content-language" content="en-us"> <meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=iso-8859-1"> <meta http-equiv="expires" content="0" /> <meta http-equiv="pragma" content="no-cache"> </head> <!-- The first four attributes of the body tag are specific to IE and the last two are specific to Netscape. --> <body topmargin="0" leftmargin="0" rightmargin="0" bottommargin="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0"> <table border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" width="100%"> <tr bgcolor="003366"> <td rowspan="2" class="barBG">&nbsp;</td> <td rowspan="2" class="barBG" width="158px" align="left"><img src="../../graphic/navigationBar/logo.gif" width="166px" height="58px" alt="Logo" border="0" /></td> <td width="582px" height="30px" align="right">&nbsp;</td> <td rowspan="2" class="barBG">&nbsp;</td> </tr> <tr bgcolor="003366" valign="bottom"> <td class="barBG" align="right"> <table border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" width="90%"> <tr> </tr> </table> </td> <tr> <td colspan="4" bgcolor="666699">&nbsp;</td> </tr> </table> </body> </html> <ul><p><h1><a href="http://www.corporationsonthecouch.com" target="_blank">Corporations on the Couch</a></h1></p></ul> <ul><p><h3><a href="http://www.drlynnfriedman.com/about.html" target="_blank">Lynn Friedman, Ph.D., Psychoanalyst, Clinical Psychologist and Executive Coach</a></h3></p></ul> <ul><p><h3>A monthly column published in the Washington Business Journal</h3></p></ul> <!-- Body of Text Begins Here --> <p align=center> <table cellpadding=5 cellspacing=0 border=1 width=700> <tr><td valign=top bgcolor="#dddddd"><FONT SIZE="3" FACE="verdana, arial, helvetica"> <b>Coping mechanisms at work: More harm than good</b></font> </td></tr> <tr><td valign=top><FONT SIZE="-1" FACE="verdana, arial, helvetica"> <p>You're a senior corporate leader, and you've recently hired Diana as your newest vice president. Her credentials are superb, her technical skills are excellent and, better yet, she's very personable. But at every turn Diana seems to sabotage herself.</p> <p>For example, she'll generate a compelling report but forget to spell-check it. She'll give a solid presentation, but show up dressed inappropriately. Or she'll alienate a key subordinate just when she needs that person's support.</p> <p>You're no stranger to organizational dynamics, so you've taken a hard look at the role that the organization might play in Diana's difficulties. You are, however, unable to identify systemic explanations for her behavior.</p> <p>When you talk with Diana about her difficulties, she readily acknowledges them, sometimes becomes tearful and promises to try harder. But there's a helpless quality to her voice, and you sense that she's at the mercy of forces beyond her control. You wonder what's going on. How can you understand her self-sabotage and help her to address it?</p> <p>It's apparent to both of you that Diana's behavior is maladaptive. Less apparent is the notion that her problems -- sloppiness, insensitivity to the corporate dress code and alienating subordinates -- may have an adaptive side. That is to say, in some (perhaps unconscious) way, she benefits from them. They likely help her to resolve an internal conflict. Her difficulties protect her. In effect, her behaviors represent a solution to a problem, albeit a far from ideal solution.</p> <p>While the maladaptive aspects of unwanted behaviors are easy to recognize, the adaptive aspects are more obscure.</p> <p>Diana probably cannot explain the real reasons for her self-sabotaging behavior because they're outside of her conscious awareness. In fact, if she were aware of what motivated her behavior, she could probably change it. Thus, her repeated missteps signal that she has an underlying conflict.</p> <p>As puzzling as this may sound, these phenomena are universal. Think about your own struggles. So what keeps Diana from putting her best foot forward? She might not want to go in the direction it would take her. While on a conscious level she might want to succeed very much, on a deeper level she may be terrified of doing so. Success might lead her into uncharted territory. Diana may be unaware of her fears of competition.</p> <p>For example, if she has a brother who was always viewed as more talented or smarter, unconsciously, she may be fearful of outdoing him. Similarly, at an unconscious level, she might be afraid that if she earns more money than her husband, she will lose him. Alternatively, success may be incompatible with her secret self-image as bumbler.</p> <p>Of course, you cannot tolerate self-destructive behavior, even if it may be unconscious. Doing so sends a message to Diana that she is not accountable for her actions.</p> <p>More insidiously, there's a trickle-down effect when Diana's subordinates and colleagues get the message that they need to work around her to get their jobs done. Ignoring or excusing Diana's behavior converts her individual difficulties into organizational dysfunction.</p> <p>Discuss Diana's troubling behavior with her and tell her firmly that she must find a way to change it. If she says she has no idea why she behaves in these self-sabotaging ways, empathize but insist the behavior must change nonetheless.</p> <p>It can be useful to share the notion that all behavior, no matter how self-destructive, has an adaptive function -- though you recognize that the adaptive function may be outside of her awareness.</p> <p>There is an art to conveying these ideas while steadfastly avoiding any discussion or conjecture about her personal dynamics or the internal workings of her mind. If she begins to discuss very personal issues, tell her they sound like important considerations; however, for the sake of your work relationship, you'd rather not talk about them with her because employees often regret these conversations later.</p> <p>Instead, after checking with your human resources department, make Diana aware of organizational resources that could be useful to her, including coaching or other kinds of professional development.</p> <p>In some cases, the best tool for gaining self-awareness is psychotherapy. While both the law and propriety might prevent you from requiring or even recommending psychotherapy, no laws preclude you from encouraging soul-searching or making her aware of services available through your employee assistance program.</p> <p>Conversations such as these are often difficult, but they are crucial to maintaining healthy workplaces and healthy workers. <p>Have a question or comment for Dr. Lynn Friedman? E-mail her editor at tburn@bizjournals.com. To reach her directly for an appointment call: (301) 656-9650.</p> <p><p>Lynn Friedman, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, psychoanalyst and executive coach in Chevy Chase. This article, <a href="http://washington.bizjournals.com/washington/stories/2006/11/27/smallb3.html" target="new window">Coping mechanisms at work: More harm than good, by Dr. Lynn Friedman, clinical psychologist, psychoanalyst and work-life consultant,</a> is reprinted with permission from the Washington Business Journal. This column is nationally-syndicated by the American City Business Journal. Dr. Lynn Friedman is on the adjunct faculty at Johns Hopkins University where she teaches Organizational Development in the Business School and Psychodynamics in the Clinical and Community Counseling Program.(Find the original article here.)</p> </font> </td></tr> </table> </p> </font> <!-- End of text page --> <!-- Body of Text Begins Here --> <p align=center> <table cellpadding=5 cellspacing=0 border=1 width=700> <tr><td valign=top bgcolor="#dddddd"><FONT SIZE="3" FACE="verdana, arial, helvetica"> <b><a href="http://www.drlynnfriedman.com/about.html"target="_blank">Connect with Dr. Lynn Friedman, psychoanalyst, psychologist, work-life coach</b></font> </td></tr> <tr><td valign=top><FONT SIZE="-1" FACE="verdana, arial, helvetica"> <i>Dr. Lynn Friedman provides organizational consultation and works with professionals and professionals-in-the-making to help them to achieve their work-life goals. </i> <br><br> <li>Is your career off-track? Are you unhappy at work? Do you find it impossible to follow through on the suggestions of career books and coaches? <a href="http://www.drlynnfriedman.com/careerassessment.pdf" target="_blank">Download Dr. Lynn Friedman's pdf file </a> examining the kinds of help that might be useful.</p> <li><a href="http://www.drlynnfriedman.com/about.html" target="_blank">If you'd like to schedule an appointment</a> with Dr. Lynn Friedman, feel free to give her a call at: 301-656-9650 <li><a href="feed://drlynnfriedman.typepad.com/dr_lynn_friedmans_blog_al/index.rdf">Subscribe to Dr. Lynn Friedman's blog feed, "All Things Psychoanalytic"</a></font> <li><a href="http://www.corporationsonthecouch.com" target="_blank">Corporations on the Couch</a> Read Dr. Lynn Friedman's monthly, Washington Business Journal, column on understanding workplace dynamics. <li>For your questions about relationships, psychotherapy and psychoanalysis, check out Dr. Lynn Friedman's new website, <a href="http://www.washingtonpsychoanalyst.com" target="_blank"> The Washington Psychoanalyst.</a></li> </font> </td></tr> </table> </p> </font> <!-- End of text page --> <!-- Body of Text Begins Here --> <p align=center> <table cellpadding=5 cellspacing=0 border=1 width=700> <tr><td valign=top bgcolor="#dddddd"><FONT SIZE="3" FACE="verdana, arial, helvetica"> <b>Would you like to read, "Corporations on the Couch" in your home town? <a href="http://www.drlynnfriedman.com/corporationsonthecouch.com"target_blank></td></tr> <tr><td valign=top><FONT SIZE="-1" FACE="verdana, arial, helvetica"> <li><a href="https://www.bizjournals.com/subscription/index.html?market=washington" target="_blank">Working in Washington, D.C.? Subscribe here.</a> <li>Would you like to read, Corporations on the Couch, in your locale? It's nationally syndicated. Contact your local editor and request it. <a href="http://www.bizjournals.com/" target="_blank"> Find your market here.</a> </ul> </font> </td></tr> </table> <!-- Body of Text Begins Here --> <p align=center> <table cellpadding=5 cellspacing=0 border=1 width=700> <tr><td valign=top bgcolor="#dddddd"><FONT SIZE="3" FACE="verdana, arial, helvetica"> <b>People who read this article also enjoyed these columns by <a href="http://www.drlynnfriedman.com/about.html"target="_blank">Dr. Lynn Friedman, psychoanalyst, psychologist and work-life coach.</a></b></font> </td></tr> <tr><td valign=top><FONT SIZE="-1" FACE="verdana, arial, helvetica"> <li><a href="http://www.drlynnfriedman.com/corporationsonthecouchreversedelegation.html" target="_blank">Don't let your subordinates delegate work to you</a> <li><a href="http://www.drlynnfriedman.com/corporationsonthecouchretiringinplace.html"target="_blank">Retiring in Place may point to management issues</a> </ul> </font> </td></tr> </table> <br><br> <!-- Main heading bar --> <table COLS=1 WIDTH="100%" cellspacing="1" border="0"> <td BGCOLOR="navy"><font face="Arial,Helvetica" color=purple size=+2></font></td> </tr> </table> <br><br> <a name="1"> <hr noshade size=1> <center> &copy; &nbsp; <i> Copyright © 2006 Lynn Friedman, Ph.D. All rights reserved. </i></center> <font size="-3"> <p>This material is copyrighted. This blog is offered as a community service. You may transmit them free-of-charge. Feel free to forward these columns to anyone who you think might be interested, so long as not a single word is changed, added or deleted, inlcuding contact information. However, I ask that you adhere to copyright laws by providing, along with any column, all attached copyright information. It is a violation of copyright law to copy this column for commercial use and/or financial gain, to cut-and-paste this column or to use it without appropriate citation. I'll be glad to send these columns to anyone else who sends me email asking to be added to the dlist. While I invite you to link to this site, you may NOT reprint the material on a web site without my express written permission. Reprint permission will be freely granted, upon request, to student newspapers, universities and other non-profit educational organizations. Beyond this, advance written permission must be obtained prior to reprinting any of this material in modified or altered form. Thank you for your consideration.</p> <p>A final word, nothing published in this blog should be construed as a substitute for clinical, consultative or supervisory advice. If you have a mental health concern, or require consultation or supervision, please seek a consultation from a knowledgeable, well-trained, clinician. If it is an emergency seek treatment at your local emergency room.</p> <p><font face="times" size=-3><font size="-3"> </font></p> </center></font> <br><br></p> <c>Copyright Lynn Friedman, Ph.D. (2005)</c> </td> </tr> <!-- Below enter recommended readings. --> <tr> <td>&nbsp;</td> </tr> <tr> <td> <span class="text_2"> </span> </td> </tr> </span> </td> </tr> <tr> <td>&nbsp;</td> </tr> </table> </td> </tr> </table> </body> </html>